


I think I see you everywhere, 'cause you're always in my heart

by wearetheluckyones



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of miscarriage, Mpreg, Rimming, bottom!Louis, top!Nick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 14:09:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4182804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearetheluckyones/pseuds/wearetheluckyones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Nick are trying to get pregnant, but it's been three years now, and Louis's starting to give up, to heartbroken to go on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I think I see you everywhere, 'cause you're always in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> My first Tomlinshaw, which is seriously surprising, considering I live for Tomlinshaw, crave it like nobody's business and I'm actually really excited :) enjoy!

It's been a goddamned long time since Nick and Louis have fought like this. They used to do it all the time before they got together, when Louis thought Nick was a hipster prick and Nick just couldn't stand to be around 'that stupidly gorgeous, bratty pop star, shite'. Literally anything one did would set the other of, and now it's happing all over again and they've been together for seven years, so it shouldn't be.

Louis loves Nick more than air. He loves his stupid hipster hair and his soft, unblemished skin and the half hearted bickering and tease that just always leads to fucking good sex, loves the kisses Nick presses into the skin of his shoulder when he gets up to trot off to the radio, the tea sitting on his bedside for him (Yorkshire, dash of milk, no sugar, just like he likes). He loves Nick because even though they tease and bicker and fight like children, Nick loves him back just as much.

But Louis not so sure about that anymore.

They've been trying to have a baby for years, two and three quarters, to be exact, taking advantage of Louis unusual and generally uncommon birth defect, where he can carry children. 

They lost two in that timespan, on in the first year, the second in the start of the second year.

God, Louis's trying his hardest, just wants a baby so bad, a baby with his husband who has stuck with him through thick and thin, worked with him through their issues so they could come together like they have. He just wants to be enough for Nick, and sometimes he feels like he isn't.

They've just been trying so long.

-*-*-

The next home test he takes comes up negative again, as always, and Louis just feels so defeated, sad and angry and tired and defeated. Nick just bundles him up in bed with tea and Captain America: Civil War, holding him against his chest and tell him over and over again that they were going to have their baby, that Nick was going to be there for Louis every step of the way.

-*-*-

Except, suddenly he isn't. Suddenly he's missing out on doctors appointments to see Daisy and Harry, getting out of nights to themselves for 'staff meetings' at the station.

Louis isn't defeated anymore, he's just really fucking pissed.

-*-*-

He practically screams at Nick for two hours straight when Nick gets home from lunch with Finchy, Fifi and Daisy, throwing pillows and clothes and anything else he can get to at Nick, just wants him to fucking hurt.

He wants to continue yelling at Nick, but by the time it passes three, he thinks he's going to throw up, face red and wet with anger and years, and Nick just looks so small, sitting on the couch with his legs pulled up to his chest.

Nick's never been small, not his body or his personality (or his cock), and Louis suddenly hates himself for making him turn in on himself.

He ignores the nausea he's still feeling and curls up with Nick, crying with him until their throats are even more raw and Louis just wants to take Nick and hide away with him from their problems.

"I'm so sorry, so, so sorry, Nick, I'm sorry, sweetheart, I love you so god damned much, Nick, you are absolutely everything to me, I love you." Louis mumbles into Nick's neck, shaking his head, sobbing out heavy breaths.

"I love you, too, Lou, I'm sorry I haven't been here. I've been so scared, I didn't want this to ruin us."

Louis nods his head. "We're not going to let it."

-*-*-

Nick spends a half an hour licking Louis out that night, until Louis's begging and pleading and whining and whimpering, before fucking into him slowly, holding onto him as if he's scared Louis might disappear suddenly.

-*-*-

They stop trying after that, just for a little while, having a break to get themselves, their lives and their relationship back on track.

Fate seems to have other plans, because a month and a half after giving it a break, Louis goes to the doctors for what he thinks is a stomach bug, only to be told he's pregnant, six weeks along with fucking twins, no less.

He's sitting there on the doctors table with the sonogram showing him his babies and he honestly its some cruel joke, that he'll loose them again, loose Nick, too.

-*-*-

It takes him well into the second trimester to tell Nick, to scared of disappointment, and all Nick can do is sit there, in the big armchair in the corner of their bedroom, sobbing and thanking god like their babies are the next coming of fucking Jesus.

Louis just laughs at him, cries a little himself and curls up on Nick's lap, holding his hand on top of his belly for what could be hours, but was probably only twenty minutes, kissing him and telling how much he loved his little family, more than anything in the whole entire world, more than air and life itself.

-*-*-


End file.
